I was picking blueberries at the farm when I get my Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) box.  “Go between rows 5 and 6.  The bushes are full and they are my favorite kind. Smooth as butter and fantastic flavor.”  That’s what the farmer said as I headed out.

He was right.  The bushes were loaded with berries.

I picked for about 10 minutes, making sure to get all the ripe ones and not go around to the other side of the bush.  I wanted to leave those for someone picking in the next row.

There were so many berries in each clump that they looked more like grapes.  Lush, huge berries.  Right at their peak.

(c) Kathleen Thompson

But here’s the thing.  After about 10 minutes, I wasn’t happy with my row.  Because it seemed like the best berries were in the next row.

Just like it always seems like the best lane on the highway isn’t the one you’re in.  The best is always just out of reach.

Life is so like that. Another row.  Another lane.  Another job.  House. Car.  Insert your own noun here.  We aren’t satisfied with what we have.  We want what we don’t have because it looks better. We quickly go from gratitude to griping.

Is it really better?  I know from experience changing lanes on the highway or lines at the grocery store, that the new one is rarely better than the original.  It just looks like it because it isn’t where we are.  It isn’t what we have.

The comparison game is such a trap, isn’t it?  Either comparison with someone else or against expectations.  Comparison robs us of our joy.  In what seems like a split second.

One minute I was practically dancing in the blueberry patch because there were so many.  And the next minute?  Thinking the blueberries were bluer in another row.  There were more of them.  That I was missing the best.

(c) Kathleen Thompson

It took every ounce of discipline I had, along with talking to myself out loud, to stay in my row.  And that was for something that in the scheme of life doesn’t even matter that much.  Imagine how hard it would have been if it DID matter a lot?  In hindsight, it was completely silly.  At the time, it felt so important.  I really felt like I was missing out.

I don’t know about you, but I want to live my life with gratitude, not griping.  Not comparing myself or my circumstances to other people or some impossible standard.  Life’s too short – and beautiful – to waste time on comparison.

So I’m glad I saw what I was doing and stopped myself.  I plan to practice that every opportunity I have when the stakes are low so I’ve got a shot at making the right decision when it’s more important.  To not always be looking over my shoulder at what someone else has, what could be, or what should be.

I hope you’ll join me and practice gratitude too.  I know we’ll both be happier and healthier for having done so.

Have you ever found yourself griping because you compared your situation to someone else’s?  What got you out of that mindset?  Leave a comment.